The Subtle Art Of Perception
by HarlequinRaven
Summary: Behind every beautiful thing in the world, there is some kind of pain. Leah/Jasper friendship. Post BD. Rated M for language/mature themes.
1. Didn't You Notice? I'm Cracked

**_The Subtle Art Of Perception_**

_Summary: Behind every beautiful thing in the world, there is some kind of pain. Jasper/Leah friendship. Post BD. Rated M for language/mature themes._

**Disclaimer;** And this is for all the chapters. I hate repeating myself. I own nothing except the plot. And this bag of Quavers I'm currently eating.

**A/N:** Yeah, well, you all sucked me in, didn't you? With your shiny, Jasper/Leah friendship stories. Anyway, here is the first chapter of my one. Yay, my first M rated story. So proud. Lol. Seriously, though. You know, darker themes, cursing, all that jazz. Some pretty creative cursing too, if I do say so myself. No lemons though. And no Jasper/Leah romance or anything of the sort. Because ... just no. I mean, sure, if Alice never existed, then possibly. But she does, so tough.

_Note; edited 28/04/2013 for mistakes, general improvements._

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**1. Didn't You Notice? I'm Cracked. Utterly Cracked Beyond All Repair.**

Leah sighed.

She seemed to be doing a lot of that these days.

Emily and Sam were getting married next week. That thought had been bouncing around in Leah's skull for months, and every time it happened to crop up - either in conversation or as an errant thought - it seemed to pain her just as much as the first time she had been told. Of course, she had been half-expecting it for years. They were… _imprints, _after all. Leah thought it like a dirty word. _Imprinting. Fucking excuses._

For a while, she had refused to believe in the concept of imprinting, instead just blaming Sam, saying he had created the whole elaborate set-up because he wasn't man enough to tell her he didn't want her anymore. At least that way she could just hate him and get on with her life. But this… _imprinting_. The rest of the Pack made her feel like she should feel guilty for hating Sam. After all… _"It wasn't his fault he imprinted. It's just the way it worked out, Leah."_

That was the spiel they had all fed her. _Fucking lies. Every last fucking word._

Only Seth had stuck by her. Seth and Jacob. She had depended on them like she had never depended on anyone before in her life — and she hated that she had to.

But now Jacob had gone and fucking _imprinted _– there's that damn word again – on the Demon Spawn From Hell, and Seth was the freakin' President of the Cullen Fan Club.

Now she was truly alone.

_Totally, utterly, completely fucking alone._

Most days she felt like screaming. But she couldn't. She was trapped in this stupid life – the only female werewolf in the Pack… not just the Pack, in _existence_, as far as everyone knew. She wasn't the only one who knew what she was going through either, which only served to make it worse. Every time she phased, _every single fucking time_, they _all_ knew. They all heard her thoughts, her feelings, her innermost sentiments. They felt her bitter jealousy, and her overpowering sadness. Every dark thought that flitted through her mind, however briefly, however much she may or may not have meant it..._ they knew_.

That made Leah ashamed. She had to be strong. She had _always_ been strong. But when _they_ heard everything going through her head – then she wasn't strong anymore. She wasn't in _control _of her life anymore. That was what Leah wanted more than anything. Control of her own life.

Leah looked at herself, reflected in the dirty bathroom mirror. She hated the reflection that stared back at her accusingly, disappointment and disgust written on her face.

"Don't fucking look at me like that!" Leah screamed, curling her hands into fists and smashing them against the mirror. It cracked sickeningly, spider-webbing from the centre outwards, giving Leah's reflection a million eyes, all coated in glazed drops of despair that threatened to spill out. Leah let out a heady, pained half-sigh, half-moan. Torn. Just like she was. She looked down, seeing the drops of crimson blemishing the sparkling white sink, and glanced at her fists.

Scarlet blood trickled down her arm, dripping ever so slowly onto the sink, drop by painfully slow drop.

With a sharp grimace, Leah pulled out a piece of quicksilver glass from the side of her palm, hissing as she did so. "Fuck," she growled, once she had done so. But as soon as the glass was removed, the ruby-red lines of blood knitted themselves back together, becoming a puckered angry scab and then fading altogether, the blood on the sink and the cracked mirror the only signs that something out of the ordinary had occurred.

If only everything else could heal so quickly.

Her mother was out of the house. Probably 'round at Charlie's. She seemed to be staying over there a lot of the time lately. To be honest, Leah couldn't blame her. She wouldn't want to be around herself, either. Not after Dad. They all said it wasn't her fault. That Dad had a bad heart; that was why he died.

But she knew the truth.

She had phased in front of him. She hadn't meant to – it had just kind of happened. She was a hormonal teenager, after all. It just so happened that her mood swings were a little more furry than most teenage girls.

Leah could still see her father's eyes widen in horror and faint disgust, wondering what the hell had happened to his once quiet, charming daughter. Leah was wondering that very same thing herself.

She looked up, seeing her cracked reflection. There – that was the answer.

Leah watched as an eerie grin spread over her face. _Sorry, Dad. I cracked._

Leah laughed hysterically, until the tears that had been building in her eyes eventually overflowed, spilling down onto the sink, diluting the spots of blood, draining them to a light vermillion.

_Fuck this. _Leah took off her shoes, and her jacket… and phased. It was too much to deal with right now. Leah turned, seeing the window. Her brain didn't engage in time to notice that the window was closed. She just needed to escape. Fast.

Leah leapt through the open window with a loud _crash_. The glass exploded into fragments, raining down upon the driveway like an assault of lethal hailstones. Leah whimpered a little, noticing a shard of glass embedded in one of her legs, but kept running, the pain becoming just a little pinpoint of irritation on her tibia. She barely registered it as she hurtled down the driveway, crossing the border into Forks, and running through the woods.

_Where the fuck am I going?_

She honestly had no idea.

_Leah? _Seth's tentative voice sounded in her head.

_What is it, squirt? _Leah didn't mean to sound aggressive, but that was how it came out, so she ran with it.

_What are you doing? _Seth asked, tentatively.

_What do you **think** I'm doing? Running, dumbass._

_Well, you don't have to be all mean about it. I was just asking. _Seth never swore. Leah felt an involuntary spurt of affection for her little brother. If it were Jacob or any of the others, really, they would have just told her to stop being such a fucking whiny bitch. Sometimes Leah hated the fact that Seth never swore. It only made her feel worse afterwards any time she shouted at him. In every argument they had ever had, Leah had always dished out five times as much as Seth had given.

But right now, she was thankful for her brother's peaceful nature.

_Sorry, _Leah mentally grunted. _Where are you, anyway?_

_The Cullens' house._

Of course. Where else would the leeches' biggest fanboy be?

_Hey! _Seth said indignantly, but Leah didn't bother replying. She couldn't help what she thought – if Seth didn't like it, he could get the fuck out of her head.

_Are you coming to the house? Jacob's here as well. _Seth said it in a voice that was clearly trying to tempt her. Well, he'd have to try a _hell _of a lot harder than that to get her to come into the House of Bloodsuckers. Instead she said; _Jacob's there? Oh, that's a major shocker, that one! Really floored me there, Seth, _with as much sarcasm and vitriol as she could stuff into a mental voice.

She felt Seth's slight tendril of hurt filter over their connection and she rolled her eyes, _Don't take it personally, Seth. Jeez._

_So… are you coming? _Seth asked, hopefully. Leah loved her brother. Really, she did. But at times, he was one major dumbass. _No, Seth. Just because you've suddenly gotten all BFF's with the Cullens, doesn't mean that I'm joining you in your insanity. And I **cannot** stand the reek in that house. It makes me want to hurl._

Leah could practically see Seth's scowl in her mind.

_Leah. _Jacob's voice in her head startled her for a second, but she quickly recovered. _Are you doing anything at the moment?_

_Just losing my mind,_ Leah thought bitterly to herself, but of course, Jacob and Seth both heard. _So, nothing important then? _Jacob said, but Leah felt the undertone of playfulness.

_Shut the fuck up, Jacob._

_Ooh, touchy._

_Jacob, get the hell out of my head before I break your face._

Jacob chuckled across their connection, before saying, _Seriously, Leah, I need you over at the Cullens._

_Why? _Leah spat.

_Because … I need you to watch Renesmee, _Jacob said, with a fair amount of sheepishness in his tone.

_Jacob, _Leah said, dangerously, _I don't care what the hell's going on, I am not going anywhere near that demon child._

_Stop calling her a demon child, _Jacob said angrily. Leah rolled her eyes, _Whatever. Seth can watch it._

_Her, _Jacob corrected, and Leah just gritted her teeth.

_Goddamn it! _Seth suddenly cried across their connection. Leah was instantly on alert. Seth _never _cursed, not even soft curses like that.

_What is it, Seth?! _Both Leah and Jacob called out to him.

_Nothing… just… Renesmee bit me. Don't worry, Leah, _he said quickly, as Leah growled both in her head and out loud, _She's not poisonous, I'm fine… it just took me by surprise, that's all._

_I'm coming over there, _Leah growled. She couldn't stand the stench, but she needed to make sure Seth was alright. Call her insanely protective, but she didn't want to lose another member of her family. Leah felt a wave of sadness wash over her. Wisely, Jacob chose not to comment on her rapid change of heart.

As she felt Jacob and Seth fade to mental pinpricks at the back of her mind, Leah suddenly changed course and made for the Cullens' house.

_Stupid goddamn mind, emotion and future-raping bloodsuckers, _Leah groused.

She thought she heard a faint echo of a deep, Jacob-like chuckle in the back of her mind.

Leah arrived ten minutes later. The smell started to piss her off about half a mile away from the house. She wrinkled her nose in acute disgust, then suddenly realised that she couldn't phase back. Not without turning up totally naked in front of a house full of leeches, of course. _Never mind, _thought Leah. _It's probably better this way. Quicker to attack and/or run if any of those bloodsuckers tries something._

_Seth, _Leah called out. _Where are you?_

_Just come around to the front of the house, Lee. _Leah would have pan-fried any other crazy bastard who dared to call her 'Lee' but Seth had been doing it for years, and she had gotten used to it. Seth was the only person she could trust not to throw anything back in her face; like a nickname, et cetera, et cetera.

_Right. Meet me there, Seth._

Seth didn't comment on the fact that Leah didn't want to be alone in a house full of leeches. He could appreciate that, even though Leah could feel him thinking that the Cullens were not at all bad.

_Just like a jellyfish trying not to sting anyone. It's nature, Seth. It's in our nature to be enemies with them._

Seth just mentally rolled his eyes.

Leah approached the front door. The whole house was unusually clean. Everything Leah could see was sparkling white – it was just unnatural. Leah shivered. The whole house reeked of bloodsuckers and cleaning chemicals. _Can't spend too long here, or else my nose is going to shrivel up and die._

Leah thought she heard an amused chuckle coming from inside the house. _Oh, great, the mind-rapist is at home. Joy._

Seth came out from the house, having phased back into his human form. He approached Leah, and looked – for a split-second – as if he were going to reach out and pet her. Leah glared at him with a look that said; _Try it and you'll lose an arm, brother or no brother._

Seth seemed to catch her drift, and turned, saying, "It's okay, Leah, you can phase back, you know. They won't do anything."

Leah just fixed him with an exasperated stare. "Oh," said Seth. _"Ohhh…"_

Leah nodded. She didn't exactly want to end up buck-naked, which she would be if she phased back.

"Well, I'm sure Esme would be happy to lend you some clo-"

Before he could finish his sentence, Leah had tackled him to the ground, and growled lowly. Her growls turned playful when Seth started to laugh, tapping her on the head. Leah rolled her eyes and licked his cheek, before pouncing to the side, letting him up.

"Okay, that's a no then," Seth said, laughing.

Leah fixed him with a _no, duh _look.

Seth led her through the front door and into the lounge. The smell only increased, and Leah felt like gagging. The scent seemed to dive down her throat, choking her, and she gave a small whimper. Edward gave a smirk from the couch. _Jeez… it's the mind-raping one. Could this day get any worse?_

"Well, hello to you too, Leah."

Leah just growled in reply. _Leave me alone._

"As you wish," laughed Edward, holding up his hands in a mock gesture of surrender.

Seth looked apologetic, but instantly schooled his features when Leah glared at him. "It's fine, don't worry. I understand," Edward said, addressing Seth.

_Don't fucking apologise to bloodsuckers, Seth! For fuck's sake… crazy twerp… unnatural…_

Edward couldn't help the little laugh that bubbled up from inside him. "Your sister is using some rather… er, _colourful_ language against your person, Seth."

Seth rolled his eyes and smirked, "I guessed. See you later, Leah. I'm going with Bella down to Charlie's. Mom'll probably be there as well."

_Ah. _Everything had been fine — Leah was about to tell the leech to tell Seth she was going with him… right up until he mentioned Charlie's house. And their mother. Leah really didn't want to see her at the moment. She didn't want to feel what she had been feeling ever since her Dad died. The guilt she felt – every time she looked her mother in the eye. To his credit, the mind-reading vampire didn't show any sign that he had heard Leah's tumultuous thoughts. _Wait, did I just give 'credit' to a bloodsucker… I need to seriously think before I… well, think._

Edward's lips twitched slightly, but he managed to stop it turning into a smile.

"See ya later, Lee," Seth said, and Leah inclined her head in goodbye. What she really wanted to do was glomp Seth and pin him to the ground to stop him from leaving. Instead, she just watched glumly as he walked out of the door. Leah was about to head out, back to La Push — she wasn't needed if Seth wasn't here — when she heard Jacob in her head.

_Leah, are you still over at the Cullens?_

_Unfortunately, _Leah said lazily. _Should I be afraid to ask why?_

_No reason, I just need you to wait for me there._

Leah mentally sighed, _Can't I wait for you in the forest?_

_Leah, just this once, can we pretend like I'm your Alpha and you actually follow my orders? _He sounded half-amused, half-exasperated.

_Fine, _Leah spat. _But I'm not staying here for more than an hour._

_Thanks._

As Jacob's voice faded away, Leah padded over to a corner of the lounge, and lay down in it, laying her head on her paws, keeping at least one eye permanently fixed on the Cullen lounge. She didn't want any of that creepy vampire fidgy-widginess. She'd been snuck up on enough over the past six months.

Edward laughed, and she fixed him with a glare. _Stop. Reading. My. Mind._

Edward resumed his place on the couch. "Alright," he said, looking down at the book he held in his hands. He flipped a page. Then after a short pause, and without looking up; "No vampire 'fidgy-widginess', I promise."

Leah's glare grew in intensity.

A few minutes passed in silence, and Leah began to feel a little drowsy. She hadn't been sleeping well, not since everything had started with the preparations for Sam and Emily's wedding… not even really since her Dad's funeral. She shook her head slightly, falling asleep right in the enemy's lair was _not_ the best idea she'd ever had.

However, after a few more minutes she found her eyes unwilling closed again.

Leah heard low voices in the living room and opened one eye, searching the room instinctively for the source of the noise. She saw Edward conversing with… _Oh, fucking hell. Why don't you get all the leeches together again and we'll have a freakin' party?_

Edward stopped speaking and glanced over at Leah, "Something tells me you would heavily regret it if that came to pass."

Leah rolled her eyes. _Why do you all talk like you've just jumped out of a fucking Charles Dickens novel?_

Edward sniggered, and resumed his conversation with… _Oh, what was his name? The one who fucked around with people's emotions, anyway, I know that much._

"Jasper," Edward supplied. _Oh yeah… that was it. I think for now I'll just call him Captain Peroxide. His hair is an ungodly shade of yellow, after all._

Apparently, Edward shared that little sound bite of thought with Jasper, because he responded by lifting a single eyebrow and murmuring in his low Southern drawl, "If you must persevere with using nicknames, I must insist I be called _Major_ Peroxide."

Edward chuckled at that, but Leah just glanced at Jasper. _Captain Peroxide has a better ring to it._

Edward relayed Leah's thoughts to Jasper, who sighed. "Ah, well, such is life."

_Or unlife._

Alice's voice called from upstairs, "Edward? Can you come up here? I need you to pick one of these for when Bella gets back!"

"Excuse me," Edward muttered, to which Leah responded with an eyebrow raise, which looked incredibly strange on the face of a wolf.

Leah flopped her head down onto her paws morosely as she once again resumed mournfully pondering Emily and Sam's upcoming wedding. She still hadn't decided whether she was going to go or not. The invitation lay on her desk, crumpled from where she had thrown it in the trash multiple times, and also covered with several layers of tape from the many more times she had ripped it up in anger and then subsequently taped it back together again. The words could barely be made out, but Leah had them stamped in her brain; they insisted upon flashing up whenever she closed her eyes. _You are cordially invited to attend the marriage of Sam Uley and Emily Young._

Well, they were cordially invited to kiss her ass.

Anger flared up in Leah again, sparking the interest of the empathic vampire. _Aw, shit. I just had to be thinking about this when the one fucking vampire who can tell I'm doing so is in the room with me. Damn it._

Her emotions suddenly became defensive, and she shot Jasper a glare that even Jacob would cower at. Leah felt extremely unnerved as Jasper just met her stare, his eyes unflinching. He didn't blink. He didn't _need _to blink. _God, vampires are such wrong creatures. Ha, I can't really talk, I suppose. I'm the only female werewolf to exist. I'm the freak among the freaks._

Jasper felt the slight jab of self-loathing and instinctually sent a shot of calm her way.

Leah suddenly felt more peaceful than she had in a long, long time. She felt like she was standing at the edge of the sea, smelling the ocean air, with the breeze dancing in and around her hair, lifting it gently upwards…

Leah shook her head violently. _What the hell?!_

Instantly, she rose from the floor, hackles up, growling loudly in Jasper's direction. _The** fuck** are you screwing around with my emotions for?! Leave them the hell alone you damnfuckingcrazybloodsucking **bastard**! How** dare** you?!_

Edward shot down the stairs, eyes wide. "Leah, are you okay? Your thoughts are a little—"

Leah instantly rounded on Edward. _And **you**! Just get the hell out of my head! Is that too much to ask? Do you enjoy playing Operation Mindfuck with my brain or something? Is this how you get your kicks?!_

Edward looked amused, but also slightly shocked. "That is the strangest term for my ability I have ever heard. And no, I was merely worried because you were yelling rather loudly."

_I **WASN'T** YELLING! _Leah protested, letting loose a roar to match the tenor of her thoughts. _I can't even **speak**! Fuck all you leeches and your stupid powers! I'm outta here._

Leah stormed out of the front door, which luckily was already open, otherwise there would have been a Leah-shaped hole to repair later. How dare those bloodsuckers invade her mind! Leah was absolutely furious. She thought of it as nothing short of a _gross_ invasion of privacy. She already had enough of it from the Pack, she didn't need it from them as well! Leah felt like running to the top of the La Push cliffs and screaming out her soul for all to see and take. Everyone had already got snippets anyway, why not give them the whole thing?! Just take all of her, then she'd have nothing left — then she could just be nothing, be no one and never have to worry about anything ever again.

She didn't know where she was running, but before she knew it, she was back home. Her mother's car was still gone, so the house was empty.

She was still alone.

As soon as she entered the house, she phased back, and slammed the door shut behind her. It shook precariously in the frame, but she paid no heed to it. She grabbed one of Seth's huge sweaters from the banister and covered the bare essentials. She trundled throughout the house until she found underwear, and jeans. She looked a mess, anyway. Leah looked into the mirror in the kitchen. _God, why are there so many mirrors in this house?_

Half-heartedly, she pulled a twig from her black curls. Jacob was going to kill her. But quite frankly, she didn't give a flying fuck.

She was cracked, remember?

Leah cackled cynically. _Wow, doesn't my life just suck balls._

Leah let out a prolonged and heavy groan. Jacob and Embry were rubbing off on her.

As if she needed _more_ things to worry about.

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**A/N:** Oh my gosh, I've totally realised how much I love writing Leah. She's amazing. Yay! 'Operation Mindfuck'... 'vampire fidgy-widginess'... Leah just brings out the crazy in me. :) Credit to Dylan Moran for the word 'fidgy-widginess'. Anyway, please review? I'd love to know what you think about it so far. More Jasper next chapter, I swear. ;D


	2. Who Apologises At This Time? Go Away!

_**The Subtle Art Of Perception**_

**A/N:** Thanks ever so much for the reviews, guys. :) I really appreciate them all, and I'm glad you like my version of Leah. ;) Again, thank you to the tremendously witty Dylan Moran for 'Bake me a cake or go away'. :D Now, on with the chapter! :)

_Note; edited on 28/04/2013 for corrections/general improvements._

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**2. Who Apologises At This Goddamn Time In The Morning? Just Bake Me A Cake Or Go Away.**

Leah awoke the next morning, feeling just as exhausted as she had when she had fallen into bed the previous night. She had stayed up watching action-romance movies until at least three in the morning, with her duvet on the couch and a large tub of Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice-cream on her lap. _How pitiful my life has become._

She let out a huge breath she barely realised she had been holding, feeling stray strands of hair blow upwards. Her arms flopped down against the bedcovers and she sighed, tossing the duvet to the side and getting up. She stretched her arms up as high as she could into the air, yawning loudly. She could feel a slight ache in her upper back, and there was still a twinge in her lower right leg where glass had been embedded in it from jumping through the window. _Speaking of which,_ Leah thought, _I should probably get that fixed before Mom gets back from Charlie's._

Leah walked across the landing, stopping to slowly and silently open Seth's bedroom door. His bed was empty, meaning he had probably stayed over with their mom at Charlie's house. _Or,_ Leah shuddered at the thought, _he stayed at the Cullens._

Even just thinking their _name_ made her a little angry. She was still pissed about all the invasion of privacy and whatnot.

Leah crashed down the stairs, running a hand through her bedraggled hair. She opened the fridge. There were plenty of things to eat, but Leah didn't know how to make them so that they were edible. Her mom usually did that. Leah turned, and spied the half-finished tub of chocolate ice-cream that she had left out from the night before. It was completely melted by now, but Leah picked up the dirty spoon, chucked it behind her into the sink, and got a straw out of the cupboard. She stuck it into the liquid ice-cream and drank it like a chocolate milkshake.

After she had finished, she went upstairs to have a shower. The water was blissfully hot, and soothed her aching limbs immensely. That was a crappy side-effect of being a part-time wolf; her human body wasn't nearly as durable and even though as a wolf she was a lethal killing machine, throwing herself around really caught up with her when she phased back into a human.

Getting out, Leah threw a towel around herself and blow-dried her hair, until it bounced back into its natural, glossy waves. She applied a little mascara — she was tired of _looking _like she was falling apart, even though she was — and gave an apprehensive smile. It looked wrong on her lips, somehow, and to her, at least, definitely looked fake. Leah didn't think she had smiled a true smile in years.

She sighed, her face once again dropping to its usual look of mixed consternation and faint distaste. Leah grimaced as she heard a light knock on the door downstairs. Leah looked over towards the bathroom, the one with the shattered window and broken mirror. _Fuck it._

What if that was her mother at the door? A small part of her brain said that her mom would have just used a key to get in — but it was possible that she could have forgotten her key. Leah closed the bathroom door and just prayed her mother wouldn't go in there. It was a frail hope. But that was the only kind of hope she had left in her heart now.

Leah trundled down the stairs, and slipped on a pair of red pumps. She stopped just before she opened the door, her hand resting on the doorknob. The shape behind the door was decidedly unfeminine, and Leah heaved a sigh of relief. At least it wasn't her mother. She opened the door, expecting it to be Jacob baying for her blood for not staying put yesterday, or Embry, or Quil, looking for Seth.

However, Leah certainly did not expect the person on the other side of the door to be Jasper Hale.

Immediately, Leah's hand seemed to take on a life of its own, and she swung the door back, slamming it shut. She turned around, and inhaled sharply. What the hell was _he_ doing at her house? On _Quileute_ land, for fuck's sake! This was supposed to be the one place the leeches _couldn't_ go. _Stupid fucking Jacob and his stupid relaxing of the stupid fucking treaty… ugh, damn it all to hell!_

A few seconds later, the soft yet insistent knocking sounded again. Leah paused, before turning back to the door and opening it again.

"What the hell do _you _want?" Leah blurted out, in no mood to attempt feigned politeness.

Jasper raised an eyebrow. "I came to apologise," he said, in his low, reserved voice. Leah was taken aback, but only for a moment before she came storming back with a sharp retort, "What, for fucking around with my emotions?! You know, some things are just… they're… look, it's just none of your damn business."

Jasper looked downwards. "I know that. That's why I came over to apologise for it."

Leah was still fuming, but even _she_ wasn't a _completely_ wild, raging monster with no manners just yet. "Do you want to come in?" she asked, in as civil a tone as she could manage. Jasper must have sensed the attempt at true civility in her emotions because he inclined his head once and murmured, "Thank you, Leah Clearwater."

It was Leah's turn to raise an ebony eyebrow. The Cullens were all so … infuriatingly well-mannered. It really bugged the crap out of her. And what was with the full name thing? What _was _that?

Leah didn't bother to apologise for the shabby state of the living room. The spare duvet from last night was lying crumpled on the couch, and there were pillows and cushions strewn everywhere. DVD's and their respective boxes were scattered around the room, piled up on tables and on the top of the television.

Jasper absently picked up one of the movie cases, looking at it, before setting it down again. Leah sat down on the couch and without thinking, pulled the forlorn duvet over to her, fiddling with the buttons on it. Anything to avoid the creepy, unnatural staring of a vampire. Jasper took a seat opposite her.

"Look," he began. "I realise that you felt hurt and invaded by my empathic ability. I gather that Edward poking around in your thoughts at the time didn't exactly help matters. But the fact is… I can't turn it off. If I could, believe me, I would. Often. It's far more trouble than it's worth." He looked down at his long, slender fingers, apparently lost in thought.

Leah briefly wondered why Jasper was telling her this. It seemed like an extremely personal thing, the kind of thing friends would share with each other, and Leah had been nothing but antagonistic towards all of the leeches from the very first day they had met.

Jasper continued, not meeting her eyes, "When I felt your… pain, and anguish, I felt it like it was my own. I didn't even register that I was doing it — my ability is set to auto-pilot, for lack of a better phrase. The instinct to help just overpowered any rational thought. I am sorry if you misconstrued my actions for deliberate invasion of your private emotions."

Leah was speechless. She wasn't exactly sure how to feel after that. Of course, she still hated leeches. And there was no way she was letting Captain Peroxide _completely_ off the hook. But he _had _apologised, and Leah could not remember Jasper ever being outright rude to her, no matter how hard she tried. She began to feel a little how she felt after she and Seth argued. She was usually the instigator, while he usually just stood, listening to her yell at him, without really hurling any insults her way.

A tiny — _miniscule_, mind you — strand of guilt pierced her. It was the tiniest fraction, but Jasper felt it.

Leah sighed, "Yeah. I guess. I wasn't exactly in the best of moods. I suppose, then… apology accepted. And, I'm sorry. About the... yelling."

It was the first time in a while she had managed to get a whole sentence out to a vampire without including some sort of profanity. Mostly directed _at_ them.

"Thank you," Jasper said, and his tone sounded relieved, as if a ton of bricks had been lifted from his shoulders.

"No problem, Captain Peroxide." _Oh, come on. I need **some** snark left in my life. I'm not Seth, the great champion of vampires, after all._

Jasper gave a wry smile. "_Major _Peroxide," he said wearily, and Leah felt like she wanted to laugh at the sheer ridiculousness of it all. But she managed to restrain herself. Barely.

"Did Seth stay at your house last night?" Leah asked suddenly. Jasper frowned, "No. He didn't come back here?"

Leah shook her head, then at Jasper's worried look she added, "Don't worry. If he wasn't there and he wasn't here, he was with Mom."

Jasper nodded, accepting this. Leah narrowed her eyes, "You guys… you all really like Seth, don't you?"

Jasper considered this, before concluding, "He's definitely the most open and decent werewolf I've ever met."

Leah laughed, "So yours truly doesn't even make the list, I suppose. Well, that's great."

Jasper looked mortified that he may have caused offence and opened his mouth to apologise, but Leah cut him short. "Don't sweat it, Major. I'm kidding. Seth's a good kid, I know that much."

Jasper's features relaxed, and he looked around. "So…"

Leah looked at him wryly. "So. You want to ask what kind of bomb hit this house but you're too polite?"

Jasper conceded with that, his eyes flashing briefly with amusement.

"I had a girl night in," Leah said, by way of an explanation.

Jasper frowned, "Shouldn't that be girls… plural?"

Leah snorted, in a very unladylike fashion. "In case you haven't noticed, I have no friends. I'm the freak. In fact I'm the freak within the crowd of freaks. So, no. It was just me and two men."

"Two men?" Jasper questioned, his eyebrows shooting up into the sky.

"Yep," said Leah, smiling bitterly, and then raised an eyebrow. "Ben and Jerry."

Jasper visibly relaxed and Leah nearly giggled at the weird spurt of protectiveness. So what if she _had _been whoring around with two men? Her life couldn't possibly sink any lower, anyway.

Leah suddenly found herself wondering why she was being so goddamn amicable with the bloodsucker in the first place. She didn't know, maybe he was manipulating her right now, but she felt… at ease just being around him. She couldn't really explain it, but his presence was somehow incredibly relaxing, which was odd, since by very definition, he was her natural enemy. _Okay, stop this shit right now! _Leah thought. _He's obviously secretly using his power or something. Get him the fuck outta here — fast!_

"I have to go," Leah said, abruptly. "I should go see if Seth is alright."

Jasper could probably tell she was lying, but she didn't rightly care.

"I see," Jasper said, and surprised Leah by not pushing the point. He rose fluidly from the couch and silently brushed past her. "See you around, Leah Clearwater," he said quietly, before exiting, closing the door softly behind him.

Leah put a hand to her forehead, and exhaled sharply. She could feel a headache rapidly coming on. There was no point in taking ibuprofen, since her constant high temperature would burn it out of her in a matter of minutes. _Yet another reason to add to the fucking already giant list of reasons why being a werewolf sucks._

Leah strode over to the little table by the couch, upon which lay the little white, cordless phone. Leah stared at it for a while indecisively, then growled, the sound low in her throat. Why was she so scared of a goddamn _phone_? She picked it up, intensely annoyed as she dialled in Charlie's home number. She could only hope that Seth picked up. _What kind of fourteen-year-old doesn't have a cellphone already?_ Leah groused, though she knew the answer. Being a werewolf was the equivalent of having your own personal cellphone in your head, just... not all the time. Unfortunately.

"Hello, Chief Swan speaking."

_Fuck._

It took Leah a few seconds to realise that she couldn't. She just couldn't speak to him. Leah slammed the phone back down onto the hook as if it had bitten her, before running a distressed hand through her hair, quickly taking off her clothes — making sure the blinds were closed — and phasing.

_Seth? _Leah mentally reached out, but was met with silence, until Embry's voice answered. _He's not in wolf-mode, Leah._

_Thanks, Captain Obvious, I'd figured that one out for myself, _Leah snapped harshly, and before Embry had a chance to retort, she phased back, redressing herself.

Leah had no sooner changed back than the phone rang. She chose to ignore the shrill, insistent ringing, thinking it would be Charlie dialling the number back. However, her head snapped towards it when she heard Jasper's deep, bass, Southern tones on the answering machine. "Leah? It's Jasper Hale. I just thought you would like to know that Alice telephoned just now to notify me that Seth went over to our house this morning."

Leah couldn't stifle her giggle at the formality of his message, and before her brain had engaged, she had picked up the phone. "Yo, Cap'n. So the little squirt's over there, is he?"

On the other end of the phone, Jasper seemed a little taken aback, but recovered quickly. "Yes. Alice thought you might have been worrying."

The little stick-elf, looking out for her? _Hmm..._ Leah didn't know what she thought about that.

"Right. Well... uh, thanks."

"No problem," replied Jasper.

"So... bye," Leah said, lamely. _Smooth.__  
_

"Goodbye, Leah Clearwater." And then he hung up. Leah's eyes narrowed. She just stared at the handset, before shaking her head and putting it down with a soft click.

Was Seth doing this on purpose? Was he deliberately going to the House of Bloodsuckers just to make her go there too? He must _know _that she would go there purely to look out for him and make sure he was okay. Frankly, Leah was pissed off as she considered this option, but then soon dismissed it. Seth could _never_ be that callous, not intentionally. He knew that she would want to keep him close after their father died, he wouldn't use that to try and get her to make nice with the vampires.

Leah felt a little guilty for even considering that at all.

But seriously, he could survive on his own for the morning, surely? Leah _really_ couldn't stand the thought of having the mindfucker digging through her brain again.

_Fuck's sake. _Leah sighed. She knew she was going to have to go over there. She could already feel her conscience whining at her to get over there and look after her little brother. Or maybe it was the werewolf in her _finally_ rebelling at the thought of Seth hanging out with vampires. Whatever it was, Leah groaned as she realised she was going over to the Mansion of Bloodsuckers, after all.

She decided to walk in human form, mostly because she did not want to be stuck in the position where she couldn't vocally speak up for herself again, but also partially to prolong the time before she got there. And also because she didn't have a car. She had a driving licence and everything, since she had taken Driver's Ed., but she knew that especially now with her father's death, they couldn't afford another car. Her mother's truck was barely holding together as it was; Leah didn't think it could take another person driving it. Jacob had tinkered with it a bit, but Leah didn't think it could hold out much longer — it was even older than Bella's ancient rust-bucket had been before it had finally given up and croaked.

Leah made her way over the border of La Push. It would be a long trek, but Leah thought she could use the walk.

Leah decided the best thing to do would to just follow the freeway. That way she would know what direction she was going, without having to give it too much thought. She had other things to think about. Like what in the hell she was going to do about the wedding. Emily had asked her to be a bridesmaid, but had said, kindly — which made Leah want to vomit — that she would completely understand if Leah declined. Which was precisely what she had done. She didn't want to have a close-up view of the sickening affair. If anything, she would be the bitter old ex at the back of the church, scowling, with her arms folded tightly, drinking heavily during the reception and probably smashing a few things after drinking a whole bottle of champagne to herself. Leah could just see it playing out in her mind.

She didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

To save her sanity, at that precise moment she chose to laugh. But as she laughed more and more, the laughter became hysterical, and then slowly degenerated into helpless sobs.

No one really understood just how much she had loved Sam; how much she _still _loved him. She hated him so much, because he had broken her heart; ripped it into a thousand fucking pieces and stomped all over them... but she loved him. And she didn't think she could ever stop.

All of the Pack thought, 'Well, she can't possibly love Sam as much as Emily. They have _imprinted _on each other, after all'.

Leah didn't know how anyone could love another person more. Maybe it was possible for her to imprint on someone who had already imprinted? Because it sure felt like she had. She didn't think she could love anyone else the way she had loved Sam.

The way she both loved him and hated him in equal measure, and with equal amounts of passion for each emotion.

She was helpless to quell either. The love stopped her from mauling Sam where he stood every time she saw him, and by contrast, the hate stopped her from following him around like a lost puppy all day. So both did their part... but both kept her trapped as the bitter shrew that she knew everyone saw her as.

Suddenly, Leah found that her legs felt incredibly heavy. She kept moving, but at a snail's pace. She wondered if she shouldn't just phase and run, spying the black rainclouds filtering in overhead, but she just didn't have the strength. She felt drained, and completely lost in her despair.

Leah stopped, stock-still, right where she was at the side of the freeway. She slumped to the cold gravel beneath, using it to soothe her suddenly boiling-hot skin. It was usually hot, but she could _feel_ it now, as if someone had placed her into an oven and was steadily increasing the temperature. A crack of thunder sounded overhead, and the rain began to fall.

Leah was grateful for it. That way, she could forget that she was crying.

Leah didn't know how much time had passed. She only knew that the sky was dark. But that didn't tell her much. For Leah, the sky had been dark for nearly two years. The rain had soaked her through, until her hair was sodden, and her t-shirt was sticking to her body. But still the heat overpowered her.

Leah lay back, feeling dizzy and light-headed, the heat surrounding her, choking her, as thoughts of Sam swam into her head... how he had looked at her... those looks now reserved only for Emily... the way he regarded her with pity. But he still cared for her. The sick bastard. Begging her to come back into the Pack. Sick, sadistic _bastard._

How sad was it that even at the slightest word, at the tiniest hint of any feelings for her, she knew she would crawl back into his arms and forgive him all his sins?

_You fucking weak excuse for a woman._

Leah felt even more woozy than she had a few minutes ago. The world seemed to be going blurry... her skin was on fire. She could see little pinpricks of light dancing before her eyes, but somehow she couldn't pass out. Oh, God, how she wanted to just pass out...

Instead her eyes began to well up even more, and despair filled her from head to toe.

Suddenly, Leah saw a bright light in front of her eyes, but her vision focused enough for her weary brain to figure out that it was a car. A tall, blond, male figure emerged from the vehicle, dashing over to her; "Leah? Is that you?"

Leah couldn't focus anymore. A pair of strong arms locked around her, lifting her up. They were cold... so wonderfully cold.

"You're running a fever," the voice said with an almost clinical diagnosis, but they was still a little worry in the tone of it. Leah felt a little calmer than she had before... she didn't know what _that _was about, but the man's touch seemed to be causing it.

_Oh, jeez... _Leah thought as the world spun around her. _Not freaking Empath Boy._

Finally, Leah was granted her wish, and happily slipped into unconsciousness.

* * *

A/N: Well, merci pour ... uh, reading. Yeah. Languages not my strong point. ;)

Review, s'il vous plait? :)

Raven. x


	3. Mojitos? Don't Make Me Laugh, Bitterly

**_The Subtle Art Of Perception_**

**A/N: **Thanks ever so for the feedback, guys. Tis much appreciated. :) Well, here's the next chapter in this little, weird story o'mine. Enjoy, and let me know what you thought. Also, I'd loe to know if you guys have any fairly creative swears that you could let me know of. Who knows? The really good ones, well, Leah might just spout them out sometime in the future. And of course I shall give you the credit. Creative, people. Let's get the muse juice flowing. ;)

Anyway, happy reading.

_Note; edited 28/04/2013 for corrections/general improvements._

* * *

**3. Mojitos? Don't Make Me Laugh... Bitterly. With Interspersing Snorts Of Disbelief.**

Leah woke up for the first time two hours later.

The first thing she saw made her smile with relief. The second thing she saw made her scowl with distaste.

Seth was standing over her, worry etched into his eyes, touching her hand but not holding it, for which Leah was grateful, as she still felt like she had been thrust into a hot oven and made to stay there. Seth's constant one-oh-one temperature would only exacerbate things.

The next thing she saw was the Cullen's doctor, tall and blond, retrieving something from a small, white bag. _Great, just great. I'm lying on a table, totally out of it, completely at the mercy of Dr. Fang here. Isn't life just fucking dandy?_

She jolted in surprise when she looked over to her other side and saw Jasper Hale sitting in a chair, his amber eyes flickering to hers, and she could see he was physically holding himself back from altering her panicked emotions, for which she was grateful.

However, her vision did seem to be slightly tinted with red, which both annoyed and worried her, and so she just mumbled, "Captain Peroxide? What are _you_ doing at my deathbed?"

The vampire chuckled lowly. "You're not dying, Leah. And _must_ you insist on calling me that?"

Leah opened one eye and then closed it, mumbling sleepily, "You don't know that. And it's not me, it's the leprechauns... _they_ want me to call you that."

Dr. Fang looked over at her worriedly, but Leah glanced up at him and smirked. "Kidding."

To her surprise, he heaved a little sigh of relief, and his words were both even and kind. "Leah, you are running an unusually high temperature for a werewolf. Can you think of anything that may have caused it? Anything at all?"

Leah thought about what she had been doing. Brooding, mostly. Stressed out like fucking crazy, of course. Crying at regular intervals. But she wasn't going to tell _him_ about any ofthat.

The Cap'n spoke at vampire speed to Dr. Fang, speech that to an ordinary human would be silence, but with her enhanced hearing, Leah managed to pick up a single word among the low buzz. _Stress_.

Leah fixed Jasper with a mutinous glower, while he half-smiled in response. It looked slightly apologetic, but Leah could tell he didn't really mean it, which only served to piss her off even more.

_Ah, fuck this. _Leah pressed her palms against the table, pushing herself up. She swung her legs around in order to stand on her own two feet — fully preparing to phase and get the hell out of the bloodsuckers' Mansion of Sickening Cleanliness. But before she could lift herself up off the table, her shoulders were being held in place by two large, cold, pale hands.

Captain Peroxide was fixing her with a disapproving stare. "Leah, where do you think you're going?"

"Dude, get your bloodsucker, emotion-raping hands off me." Leah said evenly, but underneath she was becoming annoyed. Rapidly.

Immediately, Jasper's cool touch disappeared from her feverish skin, but he was still blocking her way. "You have to stay here, so that Carlisle can figure out what's wrong with you," Jasper attempted to reason with her.

Leah scowled. "The only thing that's wrong with me is that I'm trapped in a house full of leeches. Get _out_ of my way."

Then Seth spoke quietly from the doorway. "Leah, they're just trying to help you. God, why do you have to be so horrid all the time?"

Seth's words stabbed her like a knife through the heart, though not a single wavering of emotion showed any signs of betraying her true feelings on her face. But Jasper felt it, and Leah could see the pity in his ancient eyes. She felt tears sting the corner of her eyes, but she pushed them back, pleading with them not to fall. She won the battle — though she suspected not without some help from their friendly neighbourhood empath. Leah hated it, but she couldn't help feeling grudgingly grateful.

Even though he wasn't looking at her face, Seth seemed to tell by her frozen posture that she had been affected by his words. "I'm sorry, Lee, I'm just worried about you. I want you to get better."

The sentence trailed off. Leah finished it for him in her head. _I don't want you to leave me like Dad left us._

She turned and faced him, plastering her fake smile on. "Okay, squirt. Fine. I'll stay."

Seth smiled. "Thanks, Lee."

Leah grunted softly in clear annoyance, but Seth heard the playful sound within it. She ruffled his hair. "Do me a favour and pick me up some clothes from the house, will you?"

Seth nodded immediately, and Leah added sourly, "Make sure they aren't any good ones. 'Cause after I get out of here I'm going to have to burn them. I'll _never_ get the smell of bloodsucker out."

Seth shook his head disparagingly, but shot her a wry grin. "I'll be back in twenty."

Carlisle's lips pursed, but he surveyed his patient with a clinical eye. "We'll see how long the morphine holds out for, but right now you should get some rest."

Leah was about to reply with a snappy insult, but something made her hold her tongue. Maybe it was the fact that Dr. Fang was the patriarch of the Cullen family, and as such conveyed an air of... something that had her warning signs flashing, anyway. He seemed to command respect, and Leah could see precisely how he had garnered such a large family that held him in such high stead. She saw precisely how he had managed to send the Volturi packing with their tails firmly between their legs.

So instead, she just nodded.

Carlisle looked satisfied, while Jasper was piercing her with an emotion Leah could not identify. Which pissed her off.

"What are _you _looking at?"

Jasper just shook his head, meeting Carlisle's eyes. Something unspoken passed between the two of them, and Carlisle left some aspirin and water on a nearby table, instructing, "Take these if you feel any unusual headaches coming on," before leaving the room.

Jasper grimaced. Leah sighed heavily. "So... where's Doctor Vampy McVamp off to?"

"He has to hunt," Jasper answered shortly.

Leah looked disgusted. She hated eating raw meat, and animals of any kind, really. She wasn't a vegetarian, it was just that when you were a wolf, ripping a pretty little bunny rabbit to bits with your teeth was okay. But when you were human, and you remembered doing it - well, it wasn't so nice.

Leah shivered involuntarily at the memory. Jasper looked concerned. "Are you cold?"

Leah was about to say, _Wouldn't you notice that too?, _before she realised that being a vampire, he wouldn't. And he _did_ looked genuinely worried, so she granted him a small smile and shook her head.

"Nope," she said lightly, and slid off the table. Jasper looked like he was about to grab her, but she got steadily to her feet and kept her balance, so he didn't.

"So, I'm on house arrest, then?" Leah questioned, trying to keep the tone light, since it did look like she was stuck here. At least until Seth got back, anyway. So she had better try and make nice with the bloodsuckers. Inwardly, she rolled her eyes and frowned at that notion.

"Looks like it," Jasper said. Leah eyed him suspiciously. "So... what did _you_ do?"

Jasper looked confused. "What do you mean?"

Leah smirked, "Well, you must have done _something_. Draw the short straw, did you? I mean, looking after the sick werewolf is hardly a vampire's ideal job, is it?"

Jasper chuckled, before his expression became its usual stoic self. "Alice thought I should. She didn't really mention why though."

Leah rose an eyebrow, but chose not to comment. _Play nice with the vampires, play nice with the vampires... a__h, screw it._

She scowled. "Well, what exactly was she thinking? We should go and paint the town? I mean, we can hardly go out for _mojitos_, can we? Well, you couldn't... _I_ could, I suppose."

Jasper looked amused, but quickly hid it.

"No, I really don't know what she meant. But I trust her," Jasper said, simply smiling. Leah's heart broke a little. She saw the unbridled adoration that filled Jasper's face when he mentioned the little stick-elf, and thought of the same expression on Sam's face. While thinking of _Emily, _of course. Not her. _Never her._

_It would never be her._

Jasper seemed to notice Leah's emotional downturn and panicked a little, because he said something Leah would have never imagined in her wildest dreams.

"I suppose we could play on the XBox."

Leah's eyebrows disappeared into her hair. Jasper then realised exactly what he had just said, and immediately rushed to mumble, "Never mind." His tone revealed extreme embarrassment.

"No, no, no," Leah said, wagging her finger, incredulity still etched on her face. "You said it. Wait, vampires have ... XBoxs?"

"Well, it's Emmett's," Jasper said. "But essentially, yes."

Leah just chuckled sceptically.

"Right then, let's check out this so-called XBox." Leah narrowed her eyes. Vampires? With XBoxs? Fucking unreal. She _had_ to see this for herself.

Ten minutes later, Jasper was busy asking Leah what she wanted to play as he knelt down in front of their _—_ rather extensive _—_ games rack. Leah got down on her knees beside Jasper and after a few seconds of searching, she pulled out a game. Leah thrust it into Jasper's hands and slumped back onto the couch, guitar in hand, with a half-excited, half-smug look on her face. Jasper glanced at her game choice, and raised an eyebrow.

Leah sighed, and grinned as Jasper grabbed his guitar. "Dude, you'll _never_ beat me at Guitar Hero. I am like, the undisputed champion... in fact, the _queen_ of Guitar Hero."

Famous last words.

Fifteen minutes later, Leah was frowning, wondering what the hell had just happened, and Jasper had a smug grin on his face. He started to chuckle gleefully. Leah grimaced, "Asshole."

That was the first time she had been beaten, and she didn't like it one bit. _Stupid bloodsucker reflexes._

Jasper frowned as Leah flopped backwards onto the couch. "Are you feeling alright?" Leah could clearly see he felt a little guilty for indulging in her whim for video games.

"Yeah."

She didn't mention that her head felt like it was being simultaneously pickled and burned. She didn't mention that she felt so tired her eyes were about to shrivel up. She didn't mention her heart broke a little more with every second that passed, closer to the wedding from hell. She didn't mention that she felt like everything in her life was just spiralling out of control.

Leah didn't mention _any_ of these things.

But somehow, Jasper seemed to know anyway.

"Time for that aspirin?"

Leah let out a long and heavy sigh, "Oh, yes please."

Jasper chuckled, and disappeared for barely a second before he reappeared, holding a glass of water and two white, oval pills. He passed them over to Leah, being careful not to brush his unearthly cold hands against hers, seemingly because he thought it would cause her discomfort and serve to remind her precisely whose house she was in.

Leah appreciated the gesture. "Thanks," she mumbled, and Jasper inclined his head once, before sitting down beside her, the couch barely recognising his presence as he was so still and statue-like. It was a little unnerving, but Leah supposed that was just the way of things. He wasn't human, after all. Inwardly, Leah let out a bitter laugh. Neither was she. The humanity she had still retained during her transformation from a regular girl to a very non-regular werewolf was now hanging over a knife edge. She just needed that one push, before she would phase, run out into the wilderness and never return.

The silence was broken as the door opened, and Seth entered, carrying a small hold-all.

"Hey, squirt," she said, ruffling his hair by way of greeting, taking the bag from his outstretched hands. "Thanks for the gear."

"No problem, sis. So..." Seth looked between Leah and Jasper nervously. "Is everything... alright?"

Jasper nodded, out of Leah's sight, but she looked up at Seth, an eyebrow raised. "Uh... yeah?"

Seth quickly nodded, "Good, good."

Leah looked at him strangely. "O... kay," she muttered to herself.

Leah could feel the sweat making her clothes stick uncomfortably to her body. She _really_ needed to change. Perish the thought that these people actually had air-conditioning. Leah rolled her eyes, hoisting the hold-all over her shoulder. It was light enough. Seth had only packed the bare essentials.

She looked pointedly at Jasper, gesturing to her makeshift Bag-O-Tricks. "Got somewhere a girl can change?"

"Follow me," said Jasper, turning to go up the stairs. Leah noticed the fluidity with which he moved, and gave an involuntary shiver._ Totally not natural._

Once they had reached the top of the stairs, Jasper gestured to one of the rooms. "You can change in our room."

By '_our'_, Leah guessed he meant his and Alice's bedroom. She gave him a look, but Jasper shook his head. "Alice won't mind in the slightest."

Leah didn't bother to snap that what she had meant was that she wasn't really all that comfortable with the idea of changing in a vampire's bedroom. Instead, she just inwardly sighed, and opened the door. Jasper disappeared, giving Leah some privacy. She threw the bag onto the four poster bed in the middle of the room. Leah didn't let her gaze linger on the bed for too long. She knew vampires didn't sleep, so she was reluctant to let herself stay on that train of thought for a second longer. She could barely deal with vampires in everyday situations, the thought of them banging was just pure nightmare fuel.

Instead, she looked around. The room was surprisingly simple. Although, Leah didn't really know what she had been expecting. They didn't exactly seem like a flamboyant couple, but from what she knew, Alice was pretty bubbly and fashionable. Leah had expected that to be taken to the maximum in this room _—_ but it hadn't been. The furniture was simplistic, yet stylish, though Leah could tell that what scant furnishings there _were_ had cost a bomb.

Leah decided to dodge this horrible, saccharine display of wealth and tried to ignore the wonderful pressure of the power shower as she scrubbed the feverish sweat from her skin. She turned the water down until it was at a soothingly cool temperature. She let the water soak through her hair, scraping through it with her fingers. Leah grimaced as she realised shampoo had not been one of the things included in the hold-all Seth had brought.

Leah's gaze fell over a bottle of expensive-looking cherry scented shampoo sitting on the shelf beside the shower. She briefly contemplated just leaving her hair without any shampoo at all, but soon disregarded that notion. It really _did_ need washing. Sighing in resignation, her hand darted out for it.

A few minutes later, Leah stepped out of the shower, grabbing a towel that was just _unnaturally_ fluffy from the side. She wrapped it around herself, standing there as it soaked up the beads of water on her copper skin. She quickly dried her hair, and it fell back into semi-damp ringlets.

Leah changed quickly, eager to be out of there as soon as possible. She glanced into a mirror that adorned the closet door. Leah felt a cold crawl over her skin. She felt terribly exposed _—_ and found that she absolutely fucking _hated_ it. Seth had clearly packed the first thing that his hand touched in her drawer, which happened to be a green tank top, exposing her arms, shoulders and stomach. She grabbed a red hoodie from the bag, and pulled it over her head. That made her feel marginally better.

The rational part of Leah's brain told her that were she to be attacked, a single, flimsy layer of cloth wasn't likely to offer any protection, but Leah hated feeling exposed and vulnerable. She slipped on a pair of black Converse over her bare feet _—_ Seth had neglected to pack socks _—_ grabbed her bag and opened the bedroom door. Captain Peroxide wasn't hovering outside, Leah noted with relief.

She made her way downstairs and flung the hold-all from her shoulders onto the couch. Leah heard a noise from behind her and swivelled on the balls of her feet. She relaxed; it was just Empath Boy. Jasper looked a little confused, but held out his hand. Leah spotted the top-up of aspirin, and gratefully took it. She had felt the beginnings of a throbbing headache at the back of her mind.

Jasper seemed to note the time with a quick glance. "That's less than forty-five minutes to burn off two aspirin." He looked back at Leah. "Quick metabolism."

"Yeah," said Leah, gulping down water. "Comes in handy, too."

That was one of the only perks of being a werewolf that Leah thought that others, girls in particular, might possibly envy. She could eat as much rubbish as she liked and not gain an ounce. But she would happily trade that for some semblance of normality.

"Where'd Seth go?" Leah asked, looking around.

"Jacob called. He needed him for something." Jasper said, shrugging. "I didn't ask."

"Hellfire and fucking brimstone," Leah spat at nobody in particular, "Jacob treats that boy like his own personal lapdog." Leah shook her head disparagingly.

She looked at Jasper, and sighed. "So, when's the Head Honcho getting back from the hunt?"

Jasper pursed his lips, "I'm not sure. That's more Alice's forte. But it shouldn't be too long."

"Good," Leah said, flopping down onto the couch. Her stomach growled horribly. That metabolism perk she had been going on about? Forget that. She was hungry _far_ too much of the time. Thankfully, Jasper seemed to take this in stride. His family had some practise with Bella, after all.

"Hungry?" he asked. Leah thought about denying it, but even she had heard the thunderous growl coming from her stomach.

"I'm sure Esme won't mind if we use the kitchen," Jasper said, giving her the choice, which she was grateful for. It seemed to Leah that Jasper seemed to know exactly what to say and how to say it. It half-pleased, half-irked her. He was saying that if she wanted to, she could prepare her own food, or if she wasn't feeling up to it, he would do it for her. Leah just knew it. _But, I digress. There's no fucking way some bloodsucker is touching food I'm gonna have to eat, no matter how sickeningly accommodating the aforementioned bloodsucker is being._

After coming to this decision, Leah hoisted herself up and followed Jasper through to the kitchen. Every surface positively sparkled. It looked like it had just been fitted. There were no outwards signs of disarray or stray utensils. It all seemed horribly clinical - more like a room for performing surgery than for preparing meals. Leah suddenly had a pang of nostalgia for the ordered chaos of Emily's warm, homely kitchen. There was always something cooking, and always someone eating.

_Stop being so fucking pathetic, _Leah thought harshly. _You hated that kitchen, and everything and everyone in it. Just get over yourself already and stop pining over the stupid, ungrateful bastards. One bastard in particular._

With that, Leah charged over to the gleaming cupboards. "So... what do you guys have?"

Jasper looked a little puzzled. "I'm not sure. But there's nothing off-limits. Only Seth, Jacob and sometimes Renesmee eat anything around here."

"I just need something quick," Leah muttered. Jasper looked a little disapproving, and the image sparked a sharp memory of her father. It made Leah irritable, and she snapped, "Look, I'm not exactly fishing to make a fucking crème brûlée, okay?"

She instantly felt guilty, which Jasper seemed to take in stride. "I apologise. I'm not exactly an expert on human nutrition, after all."

He gave a wry smile, which relaxed Leah quite a bit. She pulled out a stray packet of chocolate Pop Tarts from the cupboard. That would do for the moment. She didn't have the patience _—_ nor skill, if she was honest _—_ to cook anything substantial.

Jasper eyed the snack food in her hands doubtfully, but chose _— fucking_ _wisely_, thought Leah _— _not to comment.

As she nibbled on her third Pop Tart, Leah's thoughts once again drifted to the impending wedding. She frowned at herself. Couldn't she go one day without thinking about that damn wedding? It would appear not. Leah thought of the empty hanger in her closet; the one reserved for the dress she hadn't bought yet. She thought spitefully about turning up in sweatpants and a hoodie.

Jasper looked over at her from the other side of the room. While she had turned on the television and switched it to the news purely for the background noise, he had drifted over to the piano, and was lazily dragging his fingers along the keys.

Her eyes met his, and she quickly looked away, remembering that he could see, or sense, or whatever the hell it was he did, exactly what she was feeling. He could feel the sadness that coursed through her, permeating her very being and drowning her heart. He _knew_... and Leah didn't know if she could handle that.

Slowly, Jasper rose from the piano bench, and slid onto the sofa, deliberately looking at the television instead of her. Leah could feel the conflicted emotions crossing her face, even as she tried so hard to hide them from everyone around her. She couldn't handle it. She didn't know how to deal with the clusterfuck of confusing emotions inside her. She didn't know how she'd managed to fit them all in there in the first place.

Jasper looked at her, and Leah was surprised to see kindness in his ethereal topaz eyes.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked, softly.

Leah realised that she didn't _want_ to snap at him. She didn't _want_ to scream, shout and run away in frustration. Leah's eyes widened incredulously.

_I can't believe it. They're getting to me._

A few seconds passed before she fully comprehended that thought, and when she did, her reaction was instinctual. _Fuck!_

As if he had suddenly absorbed Edward's power, Jasper smiled to himself.

* * *

A/N: Hope you liked. Review? :)

- Raven. x


	4. I Don't Like Sharing, Period

**_The Subtle Art Of Perception_**

**A/N:** Well, here's Leah's compulsory confessional chapter, hehe. And thanks for all the suggestions for swears, guys. Don't think I've managed to fit any of them in yet, but I will try. :) Righto, onwards and upwards... or, onwards, anyway.

_Note; edited 28/04/2013 for corrections/general improvements._

* * *

**4. I Don't Like Sharing. Period.**

For a few minutes, Leah just sat, collecting her thoughts. Jasper did not say anything. The silence neither perturbed nor disturbed him; in fact, he seemed to barely notice the time passing at all. Leah thought that was one of the main differences between the cool, collected vampires and the hormonal, immature werewolves. One of the Pack would have no doubt snapped at her to hurry up and spill by now, but every one of the vampires acted like they had all the time in the world. Which they did, Leah supposed. They _were_ eternal, after all, unless purposely destroyed.

"So..." Leah was suddenly embarrassed. How the hell did she even try to _begin_ to articulate what she was feeling?

"I heard about the wedding," Jasper prompted quietly, looking down at his long, slender fingers. He placed his palms together, arching his fingers.

"Yeah. That," Leah said, and then exploded.

"I mean, my God! What the _hell_ did they want? For me to fucking whoop and cheer and go fucking nuts when I heard they were finally getting married?! _No! _Hell to the _fuck no_! I mean, _fucking_ _hell_! The way they both looked at me! _"Leah, we're finally tying the knot! Be happy about it!" _I don't fucking think so! And Sam... that assclown...! The way he _looked_ at me when he saw I wasn't fucking smiling like the rest of those Stepford Wolves! Like all this was my fault, I mean, are you fucking kidding me?! That stupid, arrogant, poxy-eyed bastard! _I wanted to punch him right in the fucking face!_"

Leah heaved a sharp, but broken sigh.

Jasper just looked at her, his eyes filled with empathy. "Feel better?"

"No," Leah whispered. Her voice was hoarse. She felt her eyes begin to sting in the corners. _Oh, no. I am** not** going to fucking cry._

"I don't know what the hell I'm gonna do," Leah admitted. "Not that you give a damn," she added, meeting Jasper's eyes. "Why the fuck would _you_ care about _my_ problems?"

Jasper just held her gaze. "I care."

"Why?" Leah pushed. "I don't understand."

"You don't have to," Jasper replied. "You just have to know that someone cares what you think, what you feel. Someone cares what you do with your life, Leah."

Leah didn't know what to say to that. But maybe she didn't have to know. Her brain was frazzled, and she suddenly felt a overwhelming sense of tiredness. A part of Leah's brain vaguely registered that Jasper's power was probably contributing quite heavily to this, but she didn't care. She just wanted to sleep. Her eyes were heavy, and her heart was heavy, and she felt like she was sinking into the couch...

Leah felt the barest sensation of an icy coldness on her hand, and a voice as she drifted off, "Rest well, Leah Clearwater."

_Okey dokey..._ Leah mumbled sleepily, and she promptly complied.

* * *

When Leah awoke, Carlisle had returned from his hunt. She noticed that the gold in his eyes had intensified somewhat. He was conversing with Jasper at a volume too low and fast for even Leah's advanced hearing to make out. At the sound of her waking, Carlisle's eyes snapped towards the couch. He approached her and asked, "How are you feeling now, Leah?"

Leah groaned slightly, but noted that her headache had disappeared, and her skin was only a little warmer than usual. "Much better."

Carlisle nodded, and addressed both of them, "Right, well, my son will make sure you're feeling completely recovered before you go home, Leah, but I regret that I must leave as I am needed at the hospital. But just try and relax, at least for today, I know how restless you young werewolves are. Rest and recuperate."

Leah inclined her head, sitting up on the couch. She noticed that a soft, woollen blanket had been placed over her. She rolled it up and placed it at the end of the couch. Jasper was looking at her with slight hesitance. Leah was puzzled for a second, then remembered the circumstances of her little nap. She scowled, but not with as much hatred as she would usually imbue it with, because like it or not, the sleep had done her good. Jasper seemed to know this, and came to sit beside her.

Leah glanced at the plasma screen; the news had been switched off. The silence was a little eerie. She liked to have background noise.

"Why are you uneasy around me?" Jasper asked quietly.

"You? No, it's..." Leah gestured weakly in the way of the television, but she didn't elaborate, all too aware of how childish and random her explanation would sound.

She then remembered her tirade from before her little empath-induced kip. Leah felt a little embarrassed that she had said so much in front of him. What must he think of her now? _Not that I care,_ Leah's mind retorted. But deep inside, she knew that a tiny, miniscule part of her _did_ care.

She sighed deeply, blurting out; "It's just... I don't share. It's just one of those things I _don't_ do. And... it just, it makes me feel... vulnerable, I guess."

Leah pressed a hand to her forehead as Jasper looked at her curiously. "And you fear that? Being vulnerable."

"Above everything else," Leah whispered, her voice barely audible. Then she turned to glare at Jasper. "Hey, don't go all shrink-mode on me, okay?"

Jasper held up his hands in a gesture of surrender, but he had a grin on his face. Leah gave a bitter half-smile.

At that moment, the silent ambience was interrupted by a muffled, but insistent ring from beside Leah. She glanced over, frowning. It was coming from inside the hold-all. Seth must have packed her cellphone while he was at it. Leah quickly unzipped the bag and retrieved the phone, flipping it open, groaning slightly when she saw the caller ID.

"Yo," she greeted shortly, which seemed to amuse Jasper. _What? _thought Leah. '_Yo.' Sharp, sweet and right to the fucking point. Sorry, Cap'n, no witty word manipulations here. Well, I'll make an exception in the case of profanities, in which I am well-fucking-versed._

_"Hey, Leah." _As she had suspected, it was Embry.

"What is it?"

_"Uh... well..."_

Leah frowned. "Out with it, Call. I don't have time for people screwing around with my mind today."

_"Okay... Sam wants to know if you're coming to the wedding or not. He says you haven't RSVP'd." _Embry's voice was small, but Leah was thankful at least that he hadn't beaten around the proverbial bush with the four-one-one. However, that didn't stop her being so livid she couldn't speak. She saw Jasper's features twist minutely, and he looked at her as if asking permission. Leah gave a curt nod and felt her anger draining away a little, so she could actually form a coherent sentence.

"And he was too much of a pussy to actually call me and find out himself, was he?" Leah spat darkly.

After a pause, Embry said, _"Pretty much, yeah."_

Leah growled under her breath, and closed her eyes, inhaling deeply. "Well, here's my answer..."

Leah promptly hung up.

She just inhaled and exhaled very noisily for half a minute, her ire creeping back up inside her again. The sheer _nerve_ of Sam. Getting _Embry _to call her. _No fucking pun intended._ She didn't know what she was going to say. She couldn't _not _go to the wedding, there would be too much bad feeling. Plus, she was a masochist. _Well, I've gotta be, to actually willing submit myself to this torture._

Leah just couldn't bring herself to actually commit, and say it out loud. Sam was probably expecting her to chicken out of going. Leah gritted her teeth. Had she _actually _just used reverse psychology... on _herself_?

_That is a new kind of fuckwittery._

Jasper then decided that was the moment to impart another of his pearls of wisdom. "You might as well tell him you're going. That way you can prove to everyone that it doesn't bother you."

"But it _does _bother me," Leah growled. "A helluva lot. Times ten to the power of fucking infinity."

"Yes," Jasper said, looking down. "But at least this way you maintain some sort of control."

He _did _have a point, Leah had to concede. It was at that precise moment the phone chose to ring again. Leah just glared at it. Jasper sighed, reaching over her to pick it up. He held it out to her. "So, what's your decision, Leah Clearwater?"

Leah met his eyes, and perused him for a few seconds. She took the cellphone out of his hand and flipped it open.

Her anger had still not abated, and therefore her greeting was less than cordial.

"Embry. What the fuck do you want now?"

Jasper shook his head, a smile playing on his lips.

_"Look, Leah. Don't get all pissy with me. What's the saying...? Oh, yeah. 'Don't shoot the messenger'."_

Leah snarled, "I'm not gonna _shoot_ the messenger. I'm gonna tear his balls off and mount them on a stick."

She heard Embry gulp on the other end of the phone. _"Leah, come on... let's be reasonable about this..."_

"Oh, yes, _let's_," Leah said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. She sighed. "What exactly did Sam tell you to say to me?"

Once Embry seemed confident that Leah was not going to follow through on her threat, he answered, _"He just told me to call and ask you if you were going to the wedding. I didn't want to, but then he went and got all Alpha-voice on me. Even though he's not technically the A-man anymore, he's still got that tone..."_

Leah frowned. "Fine. Look. Just tell him... I'm thinking about it."

Embry seemed hesitant. _"I think he wanted a definite answer, Leah."_

"He does? Well, Embry, it's either that or you can just tell that arrogant asshole to go play with the fucking traffic. And you can quote me on that."

Embry didn't answer. Leah glanced up, and was surprised to see Jasper looking right at her. She remembered his advice. _Take control._

She exhaled sharply. "Oh, alright. Embry, tell him... I'm going. For definite."

Embry let out a relieved sigh. _"Right. See ya later, Leah."_

"Yeah, yeah." Leah hung up. She put the cellphone back into the hold-all, glanced briefly at Jasper, before sighing heavily and dropping her head to her hands.

"What the fuck did I just do?" she whined pitifully.

It was at that moment that the door opened, and Jacob Black came wandering in. He looked a little angry and confused, rounding on Leah when he spotted her sitting on the couch.

"Leah, where the _hell_ have you been? I asked you to wait for me here yesterday, and you run off home. I go home to find you and yell at you and now you're here? What's _with_ you lately?"

Leah looked up, weary, but put on her game face, ready to dish it out to Jacob. Just as she opened her mouth to do exactly that, Jasper stood up, laying a hand on Jacob's chest in a restraining gesture. His brow was furrowed and he looked a little angry. Leah suspected her emotions were influencing him in his actions, but she couldn't be sure. He had seemed perfectly able to control his emotions around her prior to this, and she had definitely been angry around him before. In fact, she had been _more_ than angry. She had been a vicious hellcat. So what was all _this _about?

"What the hell, Jasper? You've got nothing to do with this. This is Pack business." Jacob looked annoyed.

"This has nothing to do with Pack orders, Jacob." Jasper's tone was stern. "Leah has not been _able_ to carry out your 'commands'. She has been forcibly incapacited by her health."

Jacob looked confused. Leah rolled her eyes and stood, her stance aggressive and her tone declaring her to be extremely pissed off. "He means I've been _sick_, you jerk-off."

"Oh," Jacob said, looking a little remorseful. Jasper took his hand off Jacob's chest, but he still looked a little annoyed.

"Leah, I'm... uh," Jacob stuttered a little. "I didn't know. Sorry. Just, call me when you feel better. There's some... Pack stuff."

Leah nodded, sitting back down on the couch. Jasper held his stance until the door closed, and Jacob was gone. Then he turned back to Leah. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," said Leah, still confused as to what exactly had just happened. She was fairly sure that if Jasper had not been there, it would have escalated into an all-out brawl between her and Jacob. Jasper was all too aware that Leah would have been far too proud to admit she had been ill, and Jacob would have just assumed she had deliberately defied him.

Leah felt conflicted, confused and just damn tired. She put a hand to her head and sighed. "I think I need to go home."

She said it mostly to herself, but Jasper heard her. "I'll drive you."

Jasper sensed she was about to object, and cut her off before she could even begin. "No, Leah. You're in no condition to run back yourself, and besides, my conscience would not allow it."

Leah decided not to pick a fight, especially since Jasper _had _just defended her from Jacob. What was _that_ about, anyway? Leah pondered it as she retrieved her things, and decided she would ask him later. She didn't like to skirt around things, it just wasn't her style. Leah Clearwater wasn't built for covert ops.

_"Someone cares what you do with your life, Leah."_

Leah thought she might have dreamt that. But she remembered it quite clearly. _Curiouser and curiouser... _Leah thought. _Oh, great. Things are getting so whacked out that I'm quoting Alice in Fucking Wonderland._

But Jasper _had _said that...

Leah followed him out of the house, suddenly glad to be out of there. He led her to an understated black BMW, but Leah recognised the model, and it was damned costly. She whistled lowly, "Sweet ride."

Jasper couldn't help a smile. "My family likes cars. Fast cars, preferably."

Leah raised an eyebrow, with a playful smirk, which Jasper returned. She got into the passenger seat, throwing her hold-all into the back. As she settled into the seat, she noticed that the scent of bloodsucker grew thicker in the air. She wrinkled her nose, and clicked the button by the door, rolling down the window with a quiet electric whirr. She noticed Jasper being a lot more surreptitious about it, but he too rolled down his window.

Leah laughed quietly, and Jasper looked over at her. She shook her head at his puzzled glance. "Never mind," she muttered.

Jasper increased the speed of the car, until they were going over a hundred miles an hour down the freeway. Leah smiled to herself.

Jasper noticed and looked at her curiously, his gaze flickering to the road every so often, though the gesture appeared to be more decorative than anything else. Leah suspected he didn't really need to look at the road at all. "What is it?" he asked quietly.

"Just... this. I mean, running as a werewolf does have a certain amount of freedom, but driving, I don't know. It feels more like you could do anything, go anywhere. Dad used to drive Seth and I down to Seattle. Before all this werewolf shit started, I mean. He used to go so fast I honestly thought we were all gonna die." Leah paused in her reminiscences to give a short laugh. She partially forgot Jasper was there at all as she looked out over the ocean as it sped past them. "Seth used to get really tetchy about it and moan at Dad to slow down, but I... well, I loved it. I kept thinking stupid things; like the car was gonna take off from the road and we'd be going so fast that we would just drive straight up into the clouds like something from the end of _Grease_."

Leah looked back at the dashboard, suddenly remembering that Jasper _was_ in fact there, and listening to every word she said. She felt her cheeks flush a bright red, but Jasper seemed to be pondering what she had said. "That's nice," he murmured.

Leah rose an eyebrow. She had been half-expecting some kind of sarky comment, but then soon remembered that this wasn't Jacob Black or Embry Call she was talking to. In fact, Jasper had never said a word against her, which Leah frankly considered unnatural. She didn't have the kind of personality that... gelled. With _anyone_. At _all_.

"Huh," she said. "I always thought it was kinda stupid."

Jasper eyed her carefully. "It's very... human." He looked kind of wistful.

"Go figure," Leah said, smirking, which cleared the wistful look off Jasper's face in a second, and replaced it with an amused smile.

"Indeed," Jasper mused. "So... do you drive, then? You're nineteen."

Leah nodded, "Well, I _could _drive."

Jasper frowned. "You could?"

"Yeah, if I had a car. Which I don't. Mom's truck is on its last legs, and well... she had to sell Dad's car." Leah looked down, wondering why the hell she had just told him that. She didn't want anyone pitying her. Especially not Captain Peroxide. Leah scowled at herself. Seth was right. Why the fuck did she have to be so mean all the time? Jasper had been nothing but gracious towards her. She convinced herself that it was because he was a vampire, and it would be abnormal to be... well, what?

Friends?

Leah considered the word. Friends with a vampire? Sounded too Seth-esque for her liking. Acquaintances? No, that didn't fit either. Person who rescued her from random fainting spells on freeways, played on an Xbox with her, apparently cared what she did with her life and drove her home? Well, yeah. And another word for all that stuff was: friends.

Leah sighed inwardly. This was getting _far_ too fucking complicated for her liking.

Leah couldn't place the look on Jasper's face, but she was certain it wasn't pity, which pleased her. He looked... thoughtful? _Ugh_. Leah promptly stopped trying to analyse what Jasper was thinking. It really wasn't her strong point, being the antisocial shrew she was. It was easier to just tell herself that she didn't give a flying fuck what people thought. But she couldn't do that anymore. She couldn't just lock away her feelings in a little metal-coated box inside her heart and pretend she didn't care about anything.

Leah hated that she couldn't do that anymore. She used to be able to. She used to be able to just stand back and look on, indifferent to the clear pain and suffering she caused with her mere presence, or a few carefully-placed malicious words at the right time to the right person.

She wasn't exactly about to become the advocate of light and happiness or anything drastic like that, but Leah found that for the first time in a long time - she wanted to change. She wanted to _try_ and be happy.

But she knew that couldn't happen any time soon. Not while she was still dreading the wedding, not while she was still sitting under Emily's insurmountable shadow. Not while she was still so helplessly, _stupidly_ in love with Sam _fucking_ Uley.

"So... what was all _that_ about, anyway?" Leah asked, partially in an effort to change the subject, but also because she was genuinely interested in knowing the answer.

"All what?" Jasper asked.

"All that... with Jacob? Why didn't you just let us have at it and fight?"

Jasper frowned a little. "I didn't think it was fair that Jacob just started picking a fight without having all the facts. Especially not with a lady."

Leah smirked. "So it was... chivalry, then?"

Jasper pondered this for a second. "I suppose so."

Leah paused for a second before she let out a loud laugh that filled the car completely. It was a laugh to rival Emmett's in volume. Jasper looked a little startled by it, and Leah whacked the dashboard, her stomach tightening with the force of her laugh. "Chivalry!" she managed to choke out. Leah wiped a tear of laughter from her eye, as the last few chuckles died down.

Jasper rose an eyebrow. "Glad I amuse you," he said in a dry voice that only hinted at joviality.

Leah's face was a little shocked. "I haven't laughed like that in ages. Really, though. _Chivalry_... Jesus frog-hopping Christ..."

At that, it was Jasper's turn to laugh. Leah turned to scowl at him, but he shook his head. The car slowed down as they entered La Push. Leah's house was relatively close to the border, so only a few minutes passed before the BMW was pulling into the driveway. Leah noticed that her mom's truck _still _wasn't there. Had she been and gone again? Had she noticed the broken window? The glass still littered the front garden.

As Leah moved to open the door, she heard the ringing of her cellphone from inside the hold-all in the back seat. She pivoted against her seatbelt to retrieve it, flipping it open. Jasper just waited patiently, his hands on the wheel. Leah briefly wondered if she should go inside and let Jasper get home, but then the rain started to spit down from the sky, and Leah thought she would just answer the phone where she was.

"Hello?"

_"Leah?"_

"Well, duh. What is it, Embry?" Leah frowned.

_"Seth's 'round our house. He wanted to call and let ya know, but he doesn't have a cell. He said he was gonna stay the night, but only if that's alright with you." _Embry's tone grew respectfully grave. _"He didn't want you to worry."_

"I'm not his keeper, Embry. It's fine. Just make sure to tell him to call Mom, otherwise she'll freak."

_"Will do. And... Leah? You aren't still angry... about earlier?"_

Leah growled. "Possibly, Embry. Possibly."

Embry sighed, _"You are, aren't you?"_

The ghost of a grimace touched her lips. "Fuck-a-doodle-do, someone alert the authorities because Embry Call finally grew a fucking brain cell..." Leah muttered murderously.

Embry surprised Leah by laughing. _"Fuck-a-doodle-do? Haven't heard that one in a while. Anyway, see ya later."_

Leah was so surprised at Embry's reply to what was meant to be a cutting insult, that she just said, "Bye," and hung up.

She threw the cellphone back into the hold-all, and looked out of the car window. It was still hurtling down rain. She looked over at Jasper. "Well, thanks for the ride, Cap'n."

"No problem," Jasper said, quietly. "See you around?"

It sounded less like a goodbye and more like a question.

Leah thought about it for a moment, before opening the car door, exposing her to the elements.

"See you around," Leah confirmed, with a little half-smile.

* * *

**A/N:** OMIGAWD they're friends. Or not. Either way, they both rock my socks.


	5. And If There's Something I Hate More

_The Subtle Art Of Perception_

A/N: Well, here's the next chapter. And just to clear this up once and for _all_, NO, there will not be any Leah/Jasper romance. *Sigh*. This is a FRIENDSHIP story. Lol. This story is set within a canonical universe. However, I may slip in a few Blackwater moments that could _possibly _be construed as something other than friendship... *winks*, but I will never admit them. _Canon, _people. _Canon. _;)

* * *

**5. And If There's Something I Hate More Than Sharing, It's Shopping. With Vampires. Little, Stick-Elf Vampires.**

Leah closed the front door behind her with a soft _click_. She dumped the wet hold-all to the side of the door with a thump. She had been in the rain barely two seconds and already she was soaked. _Stupid, Washington weather,_ Leah thought murderously. She shed her wet shoes and trampled upstairs, changing quickly and drying her hair with a towel. She stomped past her closet; still with the ominous empty hanger that was left for her non-existent wedding outfit, and looked at the weathered invitation on her desk again. She really, _really_ wanted to tear it up. But she didn't have any tape left for when she would have to, invariably, stick it back together again.

Leah let out a sound of intense frustration. She stalked out of her bedroom, glancing briefly at the broken window in the bathroom. She noticed that her blood had dried on the sink. Leah wandered into the bathroom, and quickly wiped it off with her hand, washing it afterwards. _Have to get that fucking window repaired._

Leah thumped downstairs, and flopped down onto the couch. She was exhausted. Her mind was drained, her heart was overused and she just wanted to do something that didn't require her to pay attention. She turned on the television, and flipped the channels until she found one with a multitude of colours that served to distract her brain, until eventually they all blurred together, and she fell asleep.

Leah woke up with a groan and glanced at the clock on the wall. _Seven a.m. _She had slept right through the night. Leah glanced at the television, which by now had finished showing mindless cartoon violence and was instead spewing horrific stories about real-life violence on the breakfast news. Leah grunted, switching it off. She got up, stretching out her stiffened muscles. The couch probably wasn't the best place to fall asleep. She heard her knees crack, and she went to open the curtains. The orange light of dawn spilled through, lighting up the living room. Leah yawned loudly, and went through to the kitchen, pouring herself a glass of orange juice. She drained it, and had just set the glass back down on the counter with a clink when suddenly there was a knock on the door.

_It's probably Seth, back from Embry's, _Leah thought, as she went to open it. Once again, it was not the person she was expecting.

Alice Cullen stood in the doorway, looking incredibly chirpy considering it was only seven in the morning.

"Can I help you?" Leah asked dryly, her eyes still filled with the last remnants of sleep.

"Hey, Leah," Alice said, looking a little hesitant, but her face still shone with that — _infuriating_ — bright glow of constant alertness. It was beginning to give her a migraine.

"Uh, can I come in?" Alice asked. Leah noticed that the little stick-elf was looking at her with... what _was_ that? Leah was too sleepy to notice, nor frankly, to care. She was in a state of weary frustration, when anger was just beyond the reach of her, yet she knew that if she could only reach out a little further, she could grab it. But she was too tired to reach.

Leah took a little while longer to respond than she would have done, had she been fully awake. Eventually, she managed to vaguely gesture indoors. "Be my guest," she mumbled.

Alice smiled brightly, stepping inside, her lithe steps like that of a dancer. Leah let go of the door, and it swung shut behind Alice. Leah turned, shuffling into the living room after the annoyingly graceful stick-elf.

Alice sat down on the couch with enviable fluidity compared to Leah's clumsy collapse onto the opposite sofa.

"So..." Leah said, drawing out the word. "What brings you all the way down to Werewolf Country?"

Alice looked at her, her gaze still unidentifiable. _I really should wake up a bit. I'm not at all perceptive just now... haha, not that I ever was. _

"You're going to Sam and Emily's wedding, aren't you?" Her tone was soft, but Leah still instinctively flinched at the mention of the phrase 'Sam and Emily's wedding'.

"How did you know that?"

"Jasper told me," Alice admitted. _Oh, well, clearly, _Leah thought with vitriol. She shouldn't have been surprised that nothing was fucking private anymore.

"Don't be mad with him," Alice pleaded quietly. "He was just worried about you. He thought you might be upset when he brought you back here and you were all alone."

"Why does he care?" Leah spat out the question before she could get her brain in gear. This 'not-really-being-awake' thing was really starting to grate on her nerves.

"Honestly?" Alice said, looking thoughtful. "Jasper is a naturally caring person. People don't really seem to get that. But more than that... I think he sees a bit of a kindred spirit in you. I tried to encourage that, because I think he needs someone to look out for. Someone who's pain he can understand. I love him with all my heart... but I've never been in true pain. I don't remember my human life at all, and my vampiric life has been filled with him. So I can't help him that way."

Leah just stared at Alice, surprised with how honest she was being. "So I'm a pet project?" She smiled wryly.

"Not at all," Alice said, eyes wide. "That's not what I meant."

"Easy, Tinkerbell," Leah said, raising her hands. "I'm just kidding."

Alice relaxed a little, and grinned, before her expression softened. "If it helps at all... we were all invited to the wedding, too. All of us, including Jasper. You won't be alone."

Leah didn't know what to say to that, but Alice had already moved on. "What are you wearing?" Alice's eyes lit up, and Leah remembered vaguely that this was supposed to be Alice's forte.

"Nothing, as of yet," Leah answered with disinterest. She realised too late that she probably should have lied. Alice's expression seemed to brighten to almost dangerous levels, and Leah nearly had to shy away from the glaring light she seemed to emanate.

"Neither have I! Leah, you _have_ to come shopping with me."

_Oh. Fuck. _

_Kill. Me. Now._

"Alright, then." Leah's mouth moved without her permission; her sleepy mind getting the better of her. Alice squealed and Leah inwardly groaned. _Something tells me I am going to regret this moment for a long fucking time._

"Well, we should go now. I mean, the shops are just opening and that means we'll have plenty of time." Alice glanced out of the window and her expression became distant for a few seconds. Leah remembered that Tinkerbell was the one who could see into the future.

"The sun'll clear up in twenty minutes," Alice said brightly, pulling out her cellphone from a bright blue Prada bag. Leah didn't know Prada from a ragcloth, but she suspected it only because of the word 'Prada' stitched boldly across the front. Alice speed-dialled a number and spoke quickly into it.

Leah rose from the couch while Alice was on the phone, and took the time to have a shower and put on some fresh clothes.

She had a sinking feeling this was going to be one _l-o-n-g_ fucking day.

* * *

Leah was right.

They had been in and out of boutique after boutique, in shops with names that Leah couldn't pronounce, never mind spell. Alice had roped Jasper into it, insisting that he needed a tuxedo for the wedding, and that since rented would -- _obviously -- _never do, he needed to be there to have it fitted.

"This, my friend," declared Leah, once she and Jasper were both out of earshot of Alice, who was looking over some dresses of her own. "Is practise."

"Practise?" asked Jasper, who was having his jacket fitted by a stern-looking woman with some pretty sharp pins in her hand, though that wouldn't bother Jasper.

"Yep," Leah said, all too aware she had just called Jasper her friend, even if it _was _in a joking manner. "For the seventh circle of _hell._"

Jasper laughed out loud, the sound startling Leah. He was actually _laughing. _A proper laugh. Frankly, it was creepy.

"Surely it's not that bad?" Jasper said.

"No," said Leah solemnly, before piercing Jasper with a glare. "It's _worse_."

Jasper just laughed again, while Leah shook her head morosely. If it had been anyone else she would have ditched out long ago, but she just couldn't quell that look of pure euphoria on Alice's face. If Leah was going to start trying to be nice to others, she might as well start with her. But Leah wasn't perfect _just_ yet. Alice dragged her into yet another shop with a name she didn't recognise.

Immediately, Alice started cooing over various dresses, and disappeared with a few assistants into the backroom of the store.

Leah looked over at Jasper, with an expression that clearly said; _Save me._ Jasper just gave that annoying, wicked smile of his. Leah scowled, really itching to punch it right off his face, and suddenly wondering why in the fucking hell she had agreed to this at all, apart from her sudden masochistic tendencies.

Alice appeared from the back room, looking incredibly excited and pleased as she held aloft a short, red dress. Leah took one glance at it and her eyes widened. "Oh, hell to the _fuck_ no." Alice just giggled. "Leah, it will go _perfectly _with your complexion."

"Alice," Leah said seriously. "I respect you as a person, which is saying a _lot_ coming from me, but I would rather tear my own eyes out of my head and set them alight than put that fucking hideous _thing_ anywhere near me."

Alice rolled her eyes, and grabbed Leah's arm, pulling her forcefully into the changing cubicle. She locked Leah in with the Evil-Red-Dress-From-Hell and called, "You are not coming out unless you have that on you. I mean it, Leah."

Leah growled, but eventually realised that Alice was being serious. She rolled her eyes, quickly slipping it on. Leah turned to face the mirror in the cubicle, and stopped herself from gasping. It really did look quite nice. It accentuated her waist, without being overly flamboyant. _Crap, _Leah thought. _I'm gonna have to admit that the stick-elf was right. Fuck. Fuckity... fuck._

Outside the cubicle, Alice smirked knowingly.

Leah emerged after a few minutes of procrastination, a reluctant expression on her face. Jasper was sitting on a stool nearby, clearly set out specifically for husbands or boyfriends who had been dragged along, unwillingly, for the ride. He looked over and Alice smiled as widely as if she had just finished a magnificent work of art.

"What do you think of it, Leah?" she asked slyly.

"I hate it and I want to rip it into little pieces, burn it and send each individual piece on a separate plane going to the opposite corners of the earth." Leah deadpanned half-heartedly.

Alice narrowed her eyes. "Yeah, yeah."

"Okay, fine," Leah sighed melodramatically. "It's _nice._"

"It's more than nice, it's absolutely gorgeous," Alice muttered. "But that's besides the point," she said, waving her hands. "Take it off and we'll go pay for it. You are wearing that to the wedding whether you like it or not, Leah Clearwater. Tell her, Jazz."

Jasper humoured Alice, shooting a wan smile Leah's way. "What Alice says, goes," he said, shrugging. Leah glared at him, before sighing. "Fine."

Alice insisted on paying for the dress. Leah did try to object, but Jasper whispered to her quietly to think of it as a reward for tolerating the crazy-ass shopping spree. _Okay, so he didn't use those EXACT words._ Regardless, Leah couldn't deny _that _kind of faultless reasoning, and so she conceded to let Alice pay for it. Alice also found a pair of matching shoes, and insisted on paying for those as well.

With her dress under her belt, Leah consented to help Alice pick out a dress for herself. Which was pretty laughable, really, since Alice looked like a supermodel no matter _what _she tried on. Eventually they settled on a knee-length periwinkle number which complimented Alice's figure nicely, and wasn't too ostentatious for a wedding. Leah thought that it didn't really matter what the Cullen women wore, they would outshine Emily anyway. They had an unfair advantage with their ethereal beauty.

While Alice was paying for her dress, Leah stood next to Jasper, behind the fray. Her pocket vibrated as her cellphone rung, and she pulled it out, startled when she saw the caller ID. It was her mom.

She flipped it open, wondering what was going on.

"Mom?"

_"Honey. Are you alright?"_

"Yeah, Mom. I'm fine. What's up?"

Her mom sighed. _"Listen, hun, I know I haven't seen you in a while. I'm sorry about that, Seth said you were ill and that it was catching so I probably shouldn't go back to the house for a while."_

Leah felt a rush of affection for her younger brother. _Good ol' Seth, covering my tracks. He probably saw the window. Or just thought I didn't wanna see Mom. Either way, major respect for the S-man right now. Thanks, kiddo._

"Uh, yeah, Mom. It's pretty contagious."

_"I'll see you at the wedding, though, right? Do you think it'll have cleared up by then?"_

"I'm pretty sure it will have, Mom. I'll see you there."

_"Okay, Leah." _There was a pregnant pause. _"I love you."_

"Love you too, Mom."

They both hung up. Leah felt the familiar sting of tears in the corner of her eye, and swiftly moved to wipe them away. _God, when did I get so goddamn emotional? Pull yourself together, girl._

Jasper must have noticed, but thankfully, he didn't say anything. Leah looked at him suspiciously though, as suddenly she felt a whole lot better. Fortunately for Jasper, they were interrupted by Alice, brandishing a dozen bags. "Well, that's that," she said cheerfully. "We've got everything, I think."

"Thank Jesus water-skiing Christ," Leah muttered under her breath as Jasper stifled a laugh.

Alice dropped off her own bags at the Cullens' house, and Jasper offered to take Leah home again. He took her bags and put them in the surprisingly spacious truck of the BMW.

As they drove towards La Push in the car, Leah and Jasper found a common ground, discussing music. Leah defended rap to the hilt, while Jasper — ironically enough — was more into jazz. Leah couldn't see the point in jazz at all — "A bunch of stuffy old geezers playing the sex-a-phone with dodgy sunglasses on." — while Jasper couldn't for the life of him see the point in a bunch of lyrics about — as he put it, "Spitting bitches and taking names." — which caused Leah to nearly collapse with laughter right there and then. The words sounded so stiff coming out of Jasper's mouth, that it was clear he had heard the phrase somewhere else.

Leah found that it was the most natural and random conversation she'd had with anyone in a few months. She'd had serious conversations, yes, but she had lost the simple joy of having a good old conversation about something _other_ than deep and painful innermost feelings and thoughts.

For the first time in weeks, Leah forgot there was a wedding on the horizon at all.

She was just a girl, driving in a car, having a conversation with a boy.

There were no werewolves. No vampires.

Just two eternal teenagers conversing with one another.

Leah smiled. "Raps _owns_. Deal with it."

Jasper frowned, looking very much like a petulant child. "No."

Leah glared, before snapping, "I'm L to the C, and this is how I roll, if you don't like my rap, you can kiss my A-double-snakes-hole."

Jasper just stared at her incredulously, completely speechless.

Leah folded her arms, looking smug to hide her embarrassment.

"Told ya. Rap's the best. End. Of. Discussion."

She glanced over to see Jasper's lips curl upwards in a small smile.

* * *

A/N: End of chapter. ;) Jazz is into jazz... how quaint. :)

Review?

Peace and cookies,  
Raven. xxx


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